I don't know what the fate of this blog is, but I missed it today and since it's been over a year since I've written on it, I have things to say.
Since I last wrote, I have started two research projects, won grant money to conduct said research projects and dropped a geology major in order to focus more closely on zoology. I have moved twice, cut my hair off, had panic attacks, taken up dance and started gardening. Emily, my cat, has gone deaf. J and I are still together, and we are both graduating this year and then starting the grad school application process.
My interests have changed. Not completely, but they have certainly migrated more toward ecology and behavioral ecology and a little bit away from paleontology and geology. I struggled with this for a very long time because it seemed to me a failure; however, some wise person urged me to look at it as a success - a success in finding out what I do and don't want. That being said, I still feel like a person who lacks clear direction, but has mutiple interests and, overall, an interest in being challenged. I don't know how this will work for me when I apply to graduate programs, but I hope that the fact that I would be happy to study many different things isn't a negative thing!
I have given enough presentations and led enough discussions to know that I absolutely want to teach. I love teaching! I'm good at teaching! And this means I need to stay in school. I couldn't be happier about it, despite being slightly burnt out.
I hope to post more. More about my research. More about the courses I'm taking. More about the sweet insect collection I had to put together this semester. More about dance. More about the marathon I'm running in the spring! More about turning 30. More about how hard it is to live with an aging pet. More about applying for grad school.
But now, I need to study for three exams!
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1 comment:
Hey Amanda! - You and your blog were missed! I've been wondering what you were up to--kidnapped by aliens, eaten by zombies, whatever. Welcome back!
My interests have changed. Not completely, but they have certainly migrated more toward ecology and behavioral ecology and a little bit away from paleontology and geology. I struggled with this for a very long time because it seemed to me a failure; however, some wise person urged me to look at it as a success - a success in finding out what I do and don't want. That being said, I still feel like a person who lacks clear direction, but has mutiple interests and, overall, an interest in being challenged.
An interest in ecology and an interest in paleontology and geology are not mutually exclusive, no matter what some biologists (or geologists, or paleontologists) might tell you! There is a real need out there for someone with a solid understanding of ecology to work in paleontology (especially pre-Cenozoic paleontology) on the dynamics of fossil faunas. For example, the push of late by the Montana State crew to synonymize various Late Cretaceous dinosaurs into single taxa, moving toward establishing some paleoecosystems in the area to have basically only one or two large herbivores and a single large carnivore. Is that ecologically feasible? Is there even an ecological model like that? I don't know...and I don't think they do, either because they're geologists and paleontologists, not ecologists. In a reverse sort of situation, it's still something of a mystery how the seasonally arid, not-heavily-forested Morrison Formation paleoecosystem could have harbored such a high diversity of really large herbivores and persisted. Bringing a solid knowledge of ecology to the table would be very welcome in answering questions like those! Granted, fossils don't usually come in the kinds of sample sizes on which ecologists like to run statistics, but applying the principles should still be possible...
I empathize with you being a bit burned out (I've felt that way both as a student and as a teacher!). It's worth pushing through and onward, and at least you have outlets, like dancing and running--don't underestimate their abilities to help you cope!
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