Monkey's Uncle

Every once in a while, my life will take on some kind of theme. Lately, primates have been it.

I recently picked up a copy of Our Inner Ape by Frans de Waal. When I say "recently," I actually mean "months ago." I finished it on my trip to Florida earlier this month. It's a fantastic read and I encourage anyone with an interest in primatology, human behavior or anyone with opposable thumbs to read it. In the book, de Waal describes years' worth of experience working with chimpanzees and bonobos that offers insight into our own species' behavior - conflict resolution, sex, power, motivation.

So, after reading Our Inner Ape, I was really excited to visit the Miami MetroZoo and see the chimpanzees, gorillas and orangutans. Unfortunately, the orang display was closed because they had just introduced two new orangs to the zoo and had them in quarantine. The chimps were not very active when we arrived at their enclosure. I don't really blame them - it was almost 94 degrees. A couple of them - a male and female - were sitting in full view, but they were far away and I didn't get any good shots of them.

The 94 degree heat was getting to us and we decided, after seeing about 2/3 of the zoo, to call it quits. But, we were passing near the gorilla enclosure and I convinced J and his mom to put up with the heat (and my picture-taking) just a bit longer.

The gorillas were really spectacular. Several females were lounging in the shade and a huge male, I think his name is JJ, was stalking around. I got some great shots of the gorillas and was about to pack up my camera when I saw JJ head to the gorilla viewing cave. I rushed into the cave and got there in time to watch JJ approach. He was moving so fast for such a big animal and he was heading right toward the two inches of glass separating us. I have never, in my life, had such a physical reaction to fear and excitement. My legs started to go numb, my heart was pounding and I immediately broke into a sweat. JJ sped up when he saw he had an audience. He plunked down on his butt and looked right at me, for a second, before averting his eyes. At one point, he opened his mouth to show off his canines. He was magnificient. Beautiful and powerful. Words can't do it justice.



I was so taken with JJ that I spent a couple of bucks on a key chain, which seemed like a totally inadequate token.

And of course, now that I'm back in Vermont and have some free time, I've picked up a copy of The Link: Uncovering Our Earliest Ancestor. I'm curious about the book and how it's going to frame the discovery of Ida - given all of the recent hype. Speaking of the hype, go read Brian's take on it!

More to come when I finish reading the book...

I'm thinking

that I need to shift the focus of this blog slightly. I have not had any motivation to write for a very long time. It's not that I'm bored by what I'm writing or reading or learning about, but that when the day is done and I've spent hours studying, I don't feel like putting a lot of time into posting something journalistic or complicated. And I don't know that that's really my style, anyway. Maybe it's just something that I decided I should do rather than something I wanted to do. I do that often.

I'm sure that what I've done is create an idea of what my blog should be. And I'm holding myself to that idea, even though I haven't actually been producing any work in sync with that idea. You're probably thinking, journalistic and complicated? I've been reading this blog for a while and there's nothing journalistic or complicated about the post content! And you are right. But in my head, I'm under the gun to produce those things. I've set up standards that I don't have the desire to live up to and as a result, I don't enjoy writing anymore. So, I'm changing my expectations. This blog is going to be something - but I'm not going to say what that something is because I don't want to set myself up to stay within certain boundaries until I'm sure about what it is that I want to be writing about.

So, I know I haven't really written about paleo in a long time, but there's a nagging feeling that I should, so I'm going to take that pressure off of myself. Accordingly, I'm not going to expect to remain on anyone's "paleo blogs" blogroll (or any blogroll for that matter). That's not to say that I will stop writing about paleo as a rule. I'm just going to write about what I want to write about, when I want to write about it. And hopefully, once I've stopped telling myself I have to write about paleo, I'll find that I want to.

So, I hope you'll still visit this place. I know that there are a lot of people out there that like to read a nice coherent, sciency blog. I'm just not in a place where I can devote myself to that. I'm still devoted to school, still devoted to all things ancient, still devoted to rocks and wildlife and all of those awesome things. But I'm also learning something about myself that I think I need to address: I tend to decide who I am and what I should be doing so rigidly that I mark any deviance from that as a failure. I'd like to be more flexible than that.

You can expect some changes here. I will still keep the same html address (which is http://www.selfdesignedstudent.blogspot.com) though I will likely make some template changes. I might even change the name of the blog. I will probably post more photos. I expect that school will remain a central focus, since it's the most exciting and consuming part of my life. And hopefully, I'll be writing more often.

Oops

It's been way too long since I've written on this blog. Sorry.

Tomorrow I have the last two classes of the semester and then on Monday and Wednesday, I have finals. I'm in really good shape and could afford to blow off the finals a bit, but I won't (and I'm not sure that I'm even capable of that, anyway).

I had my first mineral identification test, so now I feel like a real geologist. I did well - though I'm not entirely sure that that means I know my minerals. We were given eight thin sections and had 15 minutes to identify and describe 4 minerals in each. So, for example, even if I described olivine, and there was olivine in the thin section, it may not have actually been olivine that I was looking at.

I leave for Florida in a week and three days. I bought myself a new camera to take with me. I've been wanting a digital SLR for a long time and last Saturday I went to the local awesome camera shop and tested out a couple of cameras. In the end, I left with a used Nikon D70, a 28-300mm Tamron lens (no image stabilization, though), a monopod, a camera bag and a memory card for under $700. I don't know if it was a good deal or not, and I'm wondering if it would have made more sense to get a package from Best Buy (Nikon D80 with a kit lens and extra lens for $700), but I think it'll do for now, considering I barely know how to use the thing.

I'm probably going to annoy everyone because I want to photograph everything. Last night, J and I took a walk and I ended up taking a couple of nice shots of him.

I'm planning on taking a class so that I can really get the most out of the camera.

Stuff from the last week...

I had to register for classes this morning, so the last week I've been in a panic, trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing with my education. Last Monday, I declared a double major in biology and geology, which has me fairly stressed out, but also sort of excited. I will have to take something like 4 lab courses a semester for a couple of semesters, but I think I can do it. Right now, I'm taking 2 lab courses a semester, working 40 hours a week and still maintaining a 4.0, so maybe my GPA will suffer a little, but it doesn't seem impossible.

Also, last week I was told I won an award in the geology department (yay!) for having the "highest grade point average in the Introductory Geology class." I will receive a set of geology field gear (hammer, compass, hand lens, field notebook) and my name will be engraved on a plaque that hangs in the Department Seminar room. So that is cool...because I've gotten awards for things I've not worked hard for, but never for something I have worked hard for.

I also set some new goals with my personal trainer. I have to do 10 "perfect" push-ups and at least one "perfect" dip within the next 6 weeks. And I have to keep working on the pull-ups. I reached my goal of 5, but now I have to do 10 by August.

So this morning, I enrolled in two courses for the fall: Organic Chemistry and Ecology and Evolution. Then, if it works out next spring, I'll take the second half of Organic Chemistry and Earth, Environments and Life Through Time, which is a lab course taken through the geology department.

Overheard in my biology class...

"Dude, we've been reading these books in my French class and I haven't been reading, so, like, I haven't really had anything to contribute to the class. So, I think I'm going to just skip French class today, since I didn't do the reading."

Apparently, Obama likes BSG, too...

A lot.

New Paleo Blog

Anthony Maltese, Curator for the Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Resource center is starting a blog! You can find it here. Check it out!

Look at that face!

My coworker thinks that Emily looks like she's in love:

But this picture makes it pretty obvious that she's not:

Intro Bio

My introductory biology course is fairly intense. Rather than cramming a lot of information into a single semester, the class is broken into two semesters; during the first semester we covered the tiny stuff: cells, macromolecules, cell division, etc. This semester, we're going macro; we're studying ecology and evolution, as well as animal development and physiology. The class meets three times a week, for an hour each meeting and there is a 3-hour lab component that meets weekly. We have done several studies/experiments and written lab reports for each. I don't particularly enjoy writing the lab reports, but I understand the relevance of writing to a career involving research, so I put my best effort in.

So far, our labs have been pretty straightforward. The first week, we mated some Drosophila melanogaster flies and predicted the phenotypes of their offspring. In the second week, we studied the effects of population density on Paramecium multimicronucleatum. In the third week, we tested the effects of various common pollutants on Daphnia magna. In the fourth week, we looked at interpecific competition between Paramecium multimicronucleatum and Paramecium tetraurelia. I semi-enjoyed all of those labs, though I was a bit unmotivated when it came to sharing the studies via written reports. Why did you conduct this study? Because I was told to. Why did you use the procedure that you did? Because I was told to.

The last couple of weeks, I've really started to enjoy the lab section. Last week, we gave 10-minute oral presentations in which we had to present the findings of any peer-reviewed, published study. I presented the Maiacetus inuus paper to my class and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was so much fun to take something that I find fascinating and teach people about it. I was actually disappointed when, at the end of the presentation, nobody had any questions!

We've also started doing our winter bird studies. It's the first lab assignment I've had where I get to design my own study; of course, there are some limitations. I've been recording the various species of birds that visit two feeder types: feed and suet feeders. So, I've spent at least six hours in the last two weeks in the field, studying the feeding habits of birds, and I have pretty much fallen in love with birdwatching. I bought myself a pair of binoculars (10X50) and an I.D. book for Eastern birds and every sunny day, I try to squeeze in a bit of time in the woods. There's something about being outside, with no noise other than bird songs (which I'm starting to recognize!), in the sun, just watching. And I love the challenge of trying to add to the list of species that I've seen. There's one species, in particular, that I have never seen, but have heard, that I'm dying to identify. I thought it was a cardinal...but it isn't.

I'm hoping there's someone at the university who studies birds, because I'd love to hop on board with some research.

Seasonal Stuff

This time of year is really hard. It's been dark out for months and the weather is doing it's usual thing - the thing where it gets warm, but summer is still months away, the sun is MIA and mud season is looming.


I am sure that I get seasonal depression. The last week or so, I've really been feeling it - I feel flat, unmotivated, disinterested and generally miserable. When I feel that way, I stop thinking that school is a good idea because I lose perspective. I have a hard time doing stuff that isn't mandatory (like the reading assignments that probably are the reason I do well in my classes). Generally, I just don't see the point of working so hard - because I have already decided I'm going to fail.


This week, I've just soldiered on. I've done stuff I really didn't want to do, like outline the chapters we're reading in my Mineralogy textbook (instead of just reading them) and spent extra time in the geology lab with thin sections and the microscope. I've cooked dinner instead of just ordering take-out, even though I just wanted to get in bed. I've done my best to be kind to the people around me - the construction worker that's been drilling outside my office all week and the coworker who finds a problem with everything - even if I've just felt like being a huge jerk.


Last year, this time, I was pretty depressed. Then one day J and I were walking with some friends by the lake and while the sun was setting, some ducks flew over the water and for some reason, I just felt better. Something about how gracefully the ducks glided just inches from the surface made me so happy - it reminded me of all of the amazing things I have around me. That experience, and a cardinal that began singing outside of our front door ushered in a new season and I experience a little bit of a rebirth, as I do after every winter.


This morning, J sent me a sweet message that gave me just the little boost I needed to have a positive outlook. I don't feel quite as terrible and some part of me is actually hopeful. Later today, I have a date with some birds. As part of a study I'm conducting (for a lab assignment - this is not research) I have to go sit for an hour in the woods and observe birds at three sets of bird feeders. It's not that warm out today, but it's sunny and I think that my time outside will be another boost.


I am a big advocate of taking care of myself. I don't like to rely on other people to make me feel okay and I don't think that it's healthy to do; however, some days I just don't have what it takes to pull myself out of a funk. It's those days that I'll take all the help I can get.